Friday, December 12, 2008

13...Christmas Jokes

Days to go...

Okay, so I was going to give you a sneek peek at what I will be posting on Monday, but my Paint Shop Pro is having a fight with Vista today! I'm thinking Vista is just having a bad PMS day. Every so often it just doesn't like my photo editing program. Stupid Vista! So instead here are some jokes for you:

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!


At a monastery high in the mountains, the monks have a rigid vow of silence. Only at Christmas, and only by one monk, and only with one sentence, is the vow allowed to be broken.
One Christmas, Brother Thomas is allowed to speak and he says, "I like the mashed potatoes we have with the Christmas turkey!" and he sits down. Silence ensues for 365 days.
The next Christmas, Brother Michael gets his turn, and he says "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I hate them!"
Once again, silence for 366 days (it's leap year). The following Christmas, Brother Paul rises and says, "I am fed up with this constant bickering!"


What's the first thing elves learn in school? The "elf"-abet!


What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus!


According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Hopefully tomorrow Vista and my PSP will be getting along and I can tease you with some preview pictures!

Until then...

No comments: